


Blow Me Away

by FluffyHeretic



Series: Escapades of Staff Trio Sexual Firsts, or: Iwamine Shuu Has a PhD in Being a Virgin [2]
Category: Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend
Genre: M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Safe Sane and Consensual, Threesome - M/M/M, body image issues and then comfort, i hope you like bonding because the actual smut is about a third of the fic, just for one scene and its brief but yeah, self harm scars mentioned and thought abt, so actually still a decent amount bc this ended up so long, yes i ran the math
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 20:57:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18301811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyHeretic/pseuds/FluffyHeretic
Summary: It's slow going, but Shuu is growing more used to being in a relationship. There's a huge obstacle in front of him, though: he's absolutely positive that Hitori and Kazuaki will hate his body when they see it. Hopefully they can show him that he's more loved than he knows, and have some fun while they're at it.





	Blow Me Away

**Author's Note:**

> I DID IT! LAST DAY OF THE MONTH BUT I STILL POSTED! my resolution continues  
> it came so close to the wire bc this got REALLY LONG FOR SOME REASON? as in.... my longest fic on ao3 to date................. which is crazy to think abt bc this entire time, my longest fic had been the First fic i posted (sharing is caring at 5853 words.. in 2016..) i cant believe its finally been dethroned. and w a ~1000 words difference! whoa!  
> so yeah i hope you like this, lol... took a lot of time but im happy w it!

“And this is the final piece.” Shuu picked up the thin piece of cardboard, considered it, and then handed it towards Kazuaki.

Kazuaki let out a small gasp. “Me?” He took the piece reverently and slotted it into place, completing the puzzle. They all took a moment to appreciate the intricate image of a lively coral reef, complete with colorful fish and even a sea turtle, that lay on Shuu’s coffee table.

Hitori leaned back, stretching his arms over his head with a yawn. “Finally! How many pieces was that again?”

Shuu looked at the cover of the box. “Six hundred.” He glanced at the clock. Even with three of them, the puzzle had taken them longer than anticipated. “At least we don’t work tomorrow.”

“It was so much fun, though!” Kazuaki chirped. “Are you going to frame it, Shuu?”

“Hm?” Shuu looked at the puzzle again. It was pleasant enough to look at, and god knows his walls could use some decoration. It’d be a nice reminder of this evening. “I suppose so.”

Hitori yawned again, apparently quite tuckered out. “Do you mind if we stay over?”

“Of course not. I wouldn’t send you home at this hour anyway.” Shuu swirled his glass of wine before lifting it to his lips to finish it off.

Hitori got to his feet. “Then it’s probably about time to get ready for bed then, huh? I’m definitely done for the night.”

“Yay, sleepover!” Kazuaki punched the air in celebration before getting up as well. “Can we use your shower, Shuu?”

“Yes.” Shuu stayed on the couch for the time being. “I’ll take my turn last, so go ahead.”

“Oh come on, I’m sure there’s room enough for all of us.” Hitori gave Shuu a playful grin. “Why not save some water, right?”

It was a great idea in theory. Getting hot and steamy with the wet, slick bodies of his boyfriends? Yes please. But for that, Shuu would also have to be naked, and the mere idea put a lump in his throat and tension in every one of his joints.

They had fooled around a few more times since their first (admittedly rather chaste) escapade, but as far as adding new elements, not a lot of progress had been made. And while Hitori and Kazuaki had been in varying states of undress, Shuu had yet to reveal any significant amount of skin. He even vehemently forbid wandering hands from trying to feel what they couldn’t see.

But he considered it all for a very good reason. When they finally saw it, they very well might not like it, and Shuu wouldn’t even be able to blame them. He certainly didn’t like it either.

He said soberly, “It’s fine. You two can go and I’ll take my turn after.”

Kazuaki frowned and shared a worried look with Hitori. Of course after all Shuu’s secretiveness they had deduced that something was up, and of course they would be concerned about it. They were supportive like that. “Are you sure? We don’t want you to feel left out.”

“I’m sure it will be okay,” Hitori said softly. “You know that whatever it is isn’t going to make us love you less, right?”

“I do know that.” Shuu felt rocks in his stomach because he actually wasn’t sure. It wasn’t at all like he wanted to doubt his boyfriends, but he also felt it would be completely understandable if his appearance turned them off of him for good.

He sighed under his breath. He couldn’t keep playing this game forever. He’d have to show them eventually. But… He ran his hand through his hair and muttered, “It’s just too sudden. Maybe next time. I’ll try to be ready for next time.”

There was a brief silence as the others contemplated this before Kazuaki offered gently, “Okay Shuu, we understand. Take all the time you need, alright?” Hitori agreed with a nod.

Them being so kind and patient was something Shuu didn’t think he’d ever get used to and it certainly didn’t make him feel any less guilty. He offered a stiff nod back. “Thank you.”

With that, Hitori and Kazuaki headed off to shower together. They didn’t take long, and Shuu spent the time cleaning up. The puzzle would just have to stay on the coffee table until he went out and bought a frame, but that was fine.

When it was his turn, Shuu showered quickly and with the lights off, as usual.

As the sleepover wasn’t quite planned, neither Hitori nor Kazuaki had brought pajamas. Shuu was both shorter and slimmer than the both of him, so his wouldn’t fit. It wasn’t a problem though, as both were fine with sleeping in their underwear.

Shuu, of course, changed privately into a pajama set before settling into the empty space left for him next to Kazuaki. As he waited to fall asleep, he thought about his boyfriends next to him enjoying the feeling of each other’s skin against one another, and he thought he’d like to enjoy it too. But that was going to take a little more time, if he even got to at all.

He didn’t fall into a peaceful sleep very easily that night.

 

Shuu had said that he would try to be ready for next time. What that translated to was a deep anxiety about the inevitable moment hanging over him like a miasma. Every second they spent together at one of their apartments, Shuu was not fully present, with part of his mind occupied with the idea that that day could be _the_ day. At a certain point he almost felt impatient for it, wanting to get it over with so that his suffering could finally end.

He didn’t feel any more ready at all, but he tried to at least settle for resigned acceptance that his life was just bad. That was something he had been trying to settle for for a while anyway, so no time like the present.

Despite agonizing over it so much, Shuu still felt unprepared when the day did come. The three of them were at Hitori’s this time, enjoying having the place to themselves with Nageki at his own sleepover at Anghel’s house. Hitori did do more than his fair share of worrying, but that wasn’t anything they weren’t used to.

They played a board game (Shuu lost, which he silently blamed on his troubled state of mind), made dinner together, watched a movie and talked. Once it was late, Hitori stood up and announced that he was going to shower, and they were welcome to join him. He looked at Kazuaki as he said it, but couldn’t help but give Shuu a meaningful glance. Shuu was the type to miss most such glances, but he did not miss this one.

Kazuaki hopped up with a “Yes!” before seeming to make a realization and looking at Shuu. Shuu wasn’t sure if his wondering, hopeful look was better or worse than Hitori’s glancing.

When Shuu hesitated, Kazuaki leaned forward and took his hand, squeezing it between his own. “I promise you it’ll be okay! You’re beautiful, and nothing is going to change our minds about that!”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to feel pressured,” Hitori added. “But Kazuaki’s right. You don’t have to be afraid.”

“I…” Hitori and Kazuai would probably let him wait forever without complaining, and that was very kind. But Shuu knew that as tempted as he was to put it off, doing so would only worsen his anxieties. It would have to happen someday, and it was easiest for everyone if he just got it over with. He breathed deeply to summon his will. “Okay.”

Both of his boyfriends look surprised at this, and then delighted. “Please don’t get excited,” Shuu added quickly. “I assure you there’s nothing to be excited for.”

Despite this, Kazuaki looked like he was barely containing his excitement. Hitori’s expression was more subdued, but he was still clearly very pleased by the development. Shuu could not fathom why.

“Well, I guess we better get undressed then,” Hitori said casually, leading them over to his shower.

“Let’s all take off our shirts together,” Kazuaki offered. “So that Shuu isn’t the center of attention and doesn’t have to feel weird!”

That was actually a good idea, and Shuu was thankful for it. He put his fingers on the top button of his shirt, prepared to undo it. “Alright. I’m ready, then.”

Hitori and Kazuaki began taking off their shirts, and Shuu undid the button. None of his scars were exposed yet, but as he went for the second button, he knew they soon would be. He went to undo the button, and his fingers froze.

_You’ve come this far, just do it,_ he chastised himself. _Have more faith in them. They said that they won’t judge me and I should believe them. Granted, it’s not as though they have control over what does and does not turn them on. I can’t see a scenario in which my scars turn them on. It would be perfectly reasonable for them to be turned off by my appearance. And if you’re not attracted to your partner, why should you be with them? What are they going to stay for, my dazzling personality? They have each other, so I don’t even get the grace of being a last resort. I thought it was agreed that relationships are a bad idea. But no, the two of them just had to be so nice and so attractive, you just couldn’t say no, could you? ‘Maybe it will go better than I think.’ Well now this is what you get. Maybe I should save myself the trouble and just break up with them now. Was it worth it? Are you happy?_

Shuu looked up to see that he was the only one with his shirt still on. Hitori and Kazuaki were giving him the most supportive looks they could muster. Kazuaki gave a thumbs up.

Without saying anything, Shuu turned around so he was facing away from them, breathing slowly to clear his mind. He was getting worked up. It wasn’t even like he was a person who cared a lot for his appearance. It was just that he felt he was an… extreme case. At least from this position he could unbutton his shirt without them seeing anything, so he managed that much.

But he couldn’t put it off any longer. He’d already stalled for an excessive amount.

_Fuck it._

So he shrugged off his shirt. He almost just let it fall to the floor, but instead gathered it into his hands. His knuckles turned white with how fiercely he clung to it.

Nothing happened. There was no gasps of shock and horror, so that was good. But Shuu was starting to wonder if facing away from them so he couldn’t see their faces was a good idea, because now he could only imagine their reactions. Were their faces screwed up with disgust? Maybe they had been forced to avert their gazes?

He jumped when he felt a hand on his left shoulder. Hitori murmured to him softly, “You really thought we’d stop loving you over something like this?”

“Yes,” Shuu blurted out, because he was too honest. Hitori frowned and Shuu instantly realized his mistake with a ball of ice in his gut. “I didn’t mean to imply- It’s not that you- I just… I wouldn’t blame you.” He held his shirt close to his chest, still wanting to be cover himself and not be so exposed.

Hitori’s lips thinned into a thoughtful look at this.

Kazuaki came around Shuu’s other side then. “It’s okay Shuu, I know what you mean. But Hitori’s right too. You didn’t have anything to worry about, and you still don’t, okay? I love you.”

So it was okay. It was really okay. They weren’t repulsed by him, and they weren’t going to dump him. Shuu’s heart seized with gratefulness, and for all that he did to be as stoic as possible, he had to swallow an emotional lump in his throat and fight to keep a neutral expression. But he hoped the sincerity in his voice came across when he said, “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank us,” Kazuaki said simply, then he looked down at Shuu’s scarred side. “Um, is it okay if I touch you?”

The idea made Shuu uneasy at first, but he decided that anything that helped normalize their interaction with this part of him would be beneficial in the long run. “Yes.”

Kazuaki gently took Shuu by the arm and ran his fingers over the scarred skin. It was visibly discolored but only slightly, the color having faded with time, and it had a distinct, uneven texture. That was why Shuu had disallowed roaming hands: he had pictured someone feeling something unexpected and reeling back with instinctual shock.

Kazuaki didn’t seem very disgusted though, just in thought. Shuu watched Kazuaki’s gaze travel over his body, where the scar covered his arm, reached across his shoulder and chest, and traveled down his side. It was then currently obscured by his pants, but it continued to cover a good portion of his leg. It was almost odd to be observed like this, but Shuu, especially as a man of science, much preferred and welcomed curiosity as opposed to repulsion.

He looked back in Hitori’s direction to see him taking it in in a similar way. Hitori said, “I already knew that you had some issues with your right side. I guess that definitely explains it, huh?” He tilted his head. “How did you get it?”

“Oh. Um.” This was a little bit awkward. “I was in a terrorist bombing. I was...” He had to think about it for a moment. “Three years old.”

Hitori and Kazuaki both looked somewhat horrified by this.

“It must have been really scary,” Kazuaki murmured sadly. “I hate to think of you in so much pain.”

“It’s over now. It was a long time ago,” Shuu tried to assure him.

“You’re lucky to be alive,” Hitori commented.

Shuu thought about how he still had nightmares from the incident to contend with, and the physical consequences that he’d have to deal with for the rest of his life, and every other bad thing that he’d suffered through in his time on Earth thus far, and didn’t feel very lucky. But he didn’t say that.

“And,” Hitori carefully took Shuu’s left wrist, and looked him in the eyes genuinely, “we’re lucky to have you here with us.”

That made Shuu think that despite all his hardships, he did like being here with them, and yes, he was grateful for that. So maybe he was a little bit lucky after all. “You might be right.”

Hitori looked down at Shuu’s forearm as he lightly stroked it, then took his hand and squeezed it. He looked back up at Shuu with a delicate smile.

_Ah._

Shuu had been so caught up in anxiety over his burn scars, he almost hadn’t been thinking about the other scars he had.

Hitori had a few of his own, faded into an old white. ‘Waiting for Nageki to be cured was one of the hardest things I’ve done,’ was all he had really said about it.

Shuu had old white ones too, obscured by fresher pink, and those themselves beneath a layer of angry red. They would soon find that it was a similar story for his thighs.

He opened his mouth to try to clarify, justify himself somehow, but no words came. He didn’t know what to say.

But Hitori seemed to understand. He shook his head and kissed Shuu’s cheek. “You don’t have to explain anything. It’s okay.”

Kazuaki gingerly wrapped his arms around Shuu’s middle in a hug and kissed his cheek as well. “We love you!”

Shuu wasn’t very sure how to deal with all of this emotion going on. He was grateful for the positivity, but he really wasn’t used to it at all and wasn’t sure what to do. So he just closed his eyes and let himself take it in, and decided it was a good time to manage a quiet, “I love you too.” With his struggle to portray emotion freely, he wasn’t always able to say it when he wanted to, but this seemed like an important enough moment for him to make it happen.

They were all silent for a few seconds as they enjoyed the tenderness of the moment, then Hitori said with a small chuckle, “Okay, we do still have to shower. If you’re still up for it.”

“I am.” Shuu was pretty sure of that. It wasn’t as if he’d magically gotten over his self-consciousness after one brief body positivity session, but it did make him feel much better. He knew that he wasn’t always going to have the emotional energy to take his shirt off whenever they got frisky. But now that he knew they weren’t going to have the bad reaction he was fearing, maybe he could manage it sometimes, including this time.

“Should we do the same plan for our pants as our shirts?” Kazuaki asked. “Where we all take them off at the same time?”

Shuu nodded as he neatly folded his shirt and set it aside. “I should be able to actually do it with you this time.”

And he was right. When they all removed their pants, Shuu didn’t lock up with fear as he had before. There was still an element of nervousness, sure, as this was new ground, but it was nothing like his shirt. He had scars on his legs, but nothing new, and he considered his torso to be the worst of it. And they’d already seen his dick - but he did feel his cheeks heat somewhat when he remembered that wasn’t the only intimate part of him.

Now that they were all completely naked, the three of them appreciated the sights before them. Although Shuu didn’t think he was offering a whole lot to appreciate, his boyfriends didn’t seem to be shy about drinking him in. He was certainly doing the same in return. He found Hitori and Kazuaki to both be mind-bendingly hot, and he was certainly considering himself lucky to be able to enjoy the both of them like this. And they were only just getting started.

“This is so exciting!” Kazuaki said as Hitori prepared the shower and ensured the tub was filling with warm water. “We’re finally all naked together. What a big moment! I’m so happy!”

“I was… unsure, before.” Shuu knew very well that was definitely understating it. “But now that we’re here, I’m glad to have agreed to it.” He’d felt a significant weight lifted off his shoulders.

Hitori’s shower was certainly not large, but it was able to fit three people with some wiggle room. Shuu was grateful that he wasn’t someone who took up much space.

Shuu found the shampoo, and although he was sure it was fine to just use it, it felt a little odd to do so without asking permission first. Maybe he was just overthinking it, but he still asked Hitori, “May I use your shampoo?”

“Of course,” came the obvious answer. Hitori glanced at the bottle and smiled. “But how about I wash your hair for you? That’d be nice, right?” He nudged the shower stool over with his foot.

“Oh. Yes, I believe it would be.” Shuu took the seat offered to him. Both of his boyfriends seemed rather enamored with his hair and enjoyed playing with it. Shuu had found that he quite liked the feeling, so he wasn’t about to argue.

“Aww, but…” Kazuaki pouted. “I was kind of hoping to wash Shuu’s hair…”

Luckily, Shuu found the solution to this conundrum to be obvious. “I’m going to need to condition it too,” he said quickly. “Hitori can wash it, and you can do that after.”

Kazuaki grinned, seeming pleased by this. “That works out perfectly!”

“You do have conditioner, right?” Shuu asked, looking up at Hitori. Not every man used it, but Shuu’s hair was long and thick and became a bit of a mess without it.

“Yep, no worries.” Hitori gestured at the bottle. “Your hair is in good hands, Shuu.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Shuu closed his eyes and leaned his head back, ready for Hitori to begin.

Hitori filled the plastic bowl and poured it carefully over Shuu’s hair, using his free hand on Shuu’s forehead to keep it from getting in his eyes. Then he took the shampoo and started lathering it up.

“I can wash your hair, Hitori,” Kazuaki said as he went and stood behind him. “Then when I’m conditioning Shuu’s hair, we’ll just switch places and you can wash mine!”

Hitori laughed as he handed the shampoo over his shoulder to Kazuaki. “Now that’s efficiency.”

Shuu couldn’t help but sigh as Hitori got to work washing his hair. With the feeling of just the right amount of firm, just the right amount of gentle hands on his head and the warm, tension-melting water, Shuu was more relaxed than he had been in a long time. Despite the assurances he had received about his body, his anxieties about it had not simply vanished. But even that couldn’t stop him from finding a place of bliss when he was being pampered like this.

Another bowl of water or two to wash all the suds out, and Hitori announced he was done. Shuu was nearly disappointed about it being over before he remembered that Kazuaki had to take his turn, too.

“Don’t lather it,” Shuu murmured to Kazuaki as the blond took the conditioner and switched places with Hitori. He didn’t know if Kazuaki knew how to do it properly or not. Was that mean? Oh well, better safe than sorry.

Either way, Kazuaki just muttered an affirmation as he got to work. Hitori’s firmer handwork to get a good lather was nice, almost like a massage. But the way Kazuaki gently ran his fingers through Shuu’s hair, carefully ensuring that very strand got its fair share, was relaxing in a more meditative way.

_If this goes on much longer, I might actually fall asleep,_ Shuu thought idly. The only thing that didn’t make that idea sound nice was that he might miss out on some fun.

Luckily it didn’t come to that, as Kazuaki soon began rinsing Shuu’s hair. He ran his hand through to be sure it was clean, and made an ‘ooo’ sound. “That made it so silky and smooth! Hitori, feel it!”

Hitori, who had just finished using the detachable shower head to be sure Kazuaki’s own hair was soap-free, stepped over to do just that. “Oh wow. No wonder your hair is so soft, Shuu.”

“That’s why I use it.” Really though, it was nice to have at least one physical trait that he could consider positive.

Hitori had been sure there were three cloths in the shower, and made sure everyone had one before passing around the body soap as well.

Kazuaki was sporting quite a blush as he approached Shuu with the question, “Um, you know, we could clean each other…”

That sounded like a fast track to getting hot and heavy, which Shuu was not opposed to, but he hesitated. Showing them his scars was scary enough, and yes, it had gone well, but having them touched a lot was different. Sure, Shuu hadn’t minded very much when Kazuaki gently touched his arm just for curiosity, but all over?

“I like the idea,” Shuu said diplomatically, because he didn’t want them to think that he didn’t. “But maybe not yet. I… Well. You know.” Why was he so bad at explaining himself? He hoped the message got across, at least.

Perhaps it did, because Kazuaki looked understanding as he smiled and nodded sympathetically. “That’s okay! Maybe next time. Besides, I have Hitori!”

Hitori grinned as he came over to Kazuaki. “That you do.”

That was comforting, actually. When Shuu denied either of his boyfriends’ requests for something, his guilt was eased greatly by the fact that they could fulfill their wishes with each other. More than anything he regretted his own exclusion, self-inflicted as it was, but he knew it was mainly a matter of time.

Hitori and Kazuaki began cleaning each other, in quite the risque manner from what Shuu could tell. And he would have watched closer if he wasn’t a tad distracted. Considering how he very much did not like his own body, washing was a zone-out-and-get-it-done-quickly experience. But he was also a clean and tidy man who wouldn’t half-ass such a thing, so he couldn’t get it over with _that_ quickly. So much of his brainspace was taken up by the paradoxical act of trying to do a thorough job whilst also thinking about it as little as possible.

So by the time he had rinsed himself off and ensured he was free of suds, he was only mildly surprised to see that his boyfriends’ activities had progressed to Kazuaki on his knees, with Hitori’s cock in his mouth.

“That was fast,” Shuu commented. “But unsurprising.”

Hitori laughed at this before interrupting himself with a pleased groan. Kazuaki must have done something nice. With how vigorously he was going at it, it definitely looked nice.

Nice enough that Shuu was getting an envy boner just from watching. He only hesitated a moment or two before giving in and touching himself, lightly dragging his fingers across his length. Hitori seemed to be having quite the time, with his cock in that warm wetness. Kazuaki was probably at least somewhat skilled after the experience Shuu assumed he had with Hitori. Hell, he wouldn’t mind being in Kazuaki’s position either, pleasing a cock as nice as Hitori’s surely must be satisfying. Kazuaki certainly looked enthusiastic about it.

Honestly, just standing there fantasizing about being involved was probably enough for Shuu. But Hitori, who had had his head tilted back in a moan, hand fisted in Kazuaki’s curly hair, nudged the blond away. “Fuck, alright, that’s enough.” Then he looked at Shuu with a sly grin. “The fun can’t be over too fast.”

Kazuaki nodded and sat back on his butt, with a look on his face that was the look of a man who was quite pleased with the work he’d been doing.

Hitori stepped towards Shuu, and being approached by a hot man in the nude with clear sexual intent was enough to make Shuu’s legs feel like jelly. It didn’t help matters at all when Hitori got on his knees and looked up at Shuu mischievously. “Want me to suck you off?”

“Oh.” Shuu barely got the sound out, awestruck by the scenario he had found himself in. “Yes. Uh, please.” Because how the hell could he say no to that? He wasn’t that much of an idiot.

Hitori took Shuu’s cock in his hand and guided it into his mouth, Shuu watching dumbfounded. Shuu, well, he wasn’t exactly impressive, so Hitori went straight for getting his whole length in his mouth right away. Shuu nearly doubled over from the pleasure, an embarrassingly loud groan escaping him. The fantasy he had been indulging in mere seconds ago had suddenly become reality, and it was better than he imagined.

So much so that he was getting weak in the knees. “H-Hang on,” he gasped. “I can’t- Gotta sit.” Perhaps because of his bad leg, Shuu had always been unable to get off and stay standing. This was no exception. If he didn’t find a seat soon, he’d end up in a heap on the floor.

The stool he had been using was an obvious option, but it was very short, and would put Hitori into a position that Shuu imagined as very uncomfortable. So he opted for the side of the tub instead, regretfully shuffling away from Hitori and his wonderful mouth to collapse onto it.

Hitori simply followed along, seeming unbothered by the whole thing, and quickly got back to work. “So cute,” he murmured right before his mouth was occupied again, quietly enough that Shuu almost didn’t catch it. He felt himself blush when he realized what was said, but he was too busy gasping at the sensations on his dick to deny it.

It was more than he imagined. Hitori was certainly a pro, or at least Shuu thought he must be. He took hold of Hitori’s hair out of a need to anchor himself, but kept his wrists loose so he wasn’t being restrictive. The way he sucked in his cheeks to increase the suction, his tongue skillfully touching all the right places in all the right ways, and when he went down enough that Shuu could feel his tight throat? Forget the hair washing, _this_ was bliss. Shuu probably wasn’t even aware of half of the noises he was making and at this point he didn’t even care.

It was all so new and glorious, it was more than he could handle. His toes curled and he bent over Hitori’s head against his will. He felt his fists tightening and made himself move his hands to Hitori’s back so he wouldn’t hurt him. The pressure was immense. “I’m- Oh, Hitori, I’m close- I’m gonna-”

That was all the warning he managed to give before he did, in fact, cum. For a few spectacular seconds, his mind was blank, occupied only with white hot pleasure. It rolled over him like easy ocean waves, pulling the tension out of his body and making him feel truly peaceful. There was a great relief, like he had been building up to this moment forever and finally reached the gratification he had been searching for.

So it was pretty fucking good.

When Shuu came back to his senses, catching his breath, he saw Hitori getting back to his feet. He wasn’t sure where his jizz ended up. “Did you swallow?”

“Yep.” Hitori sounded nonchalant, like they were discussing the weather.

“Oh.” Shuu felt awestruck. “That’s hot.”

Shuu realized then that Hitori was still hard. It was pretty hard to miss with how the sizable cock was pretty much right in front of Shuu’s face. He stared at it, then looked back up at Hitori’s face. “I should return the favor.”

“If you want to.” Hitori said it casually, making it clear that there wasn’t any pressure. But Shuu could tell by the way his eyes lit up that he was really into the idea.

Shuu was into it too. He’d never done anything like this before so it was hard not to be intimidated, especially with Hitori’s size in mind, but it was still exciting. He thought about how good Hitori had just been making him feel. If he could make Hitori feel half that good, that would be a gratifying accomplishment.

“I should warn you that I’m not going to be very good,” he said as he took Hitori’s length in his hand. He looked it over, trying to form some sort of plan as to how he would tackle this challenge.

“That’s okay. I’ll talk you through it.” Hitori ran a hand through Shuu’s hair, and it was comforting. “Don’t push yourself. You don’t have to try deepthroating or anything. The head is most sensitive so you can just focus on that.”

Shuu nodded his understanding. Not having to imagine how he was going to get all eight-and-then-some inches down his throat did make the task seem much more doable.

Before he went right for putting it in his mouth, Shuu decided he should have a taste. Starting from the bottom of the shaft, he glided his tongue slowly up towards the tip. It really just tasted like skin, so not bad. Hitori had literally just showered, after all.

He lined the head up with his mouth, but hesitated. “Kiss it,” Hitori whispered warmly. Shuu did, pressing his lips to the tip. He did it a few more times, leaving gentle pecks around the head and a few down the shaft, then licked his way back up again. Hitori squirmed, giving Shuu confidence.

Deciding he was done screwing around, Shuu opened his mouth and guided the head in. It sort of made his jaw ache, but he could handle it. Hitori leaned his hips back however, and nudged Shuu’s head back with two fingers on his forehead. “Easy easy,” Hitori responded to Shuu’s confused expression. “Put your lips over your teeth.”

“Oh.” Shuu did as instructed and went back at it. This time Hitori let out a small sigh and resumed petting Shuu’s hair. Shuu wasn’t very sure what to do at this point, so he just moved his head forward and back as much as he could without choking. He tried to suck too, but it was hard with how open his mouth was. He tried to supplement it with his hand stroking Hitori’s shaft.

It seemed to be doing something, because when he looked up, he saw that Hitori’s eyes had slid closed and he was letting out small gasps, subtly rocking his hips into Shuu’s mouth. “Use your tongue.” Hitori’s voice was tight.

Shuu did as instructed, pulling back so just the very tip was in his mouth. This way he had room to better maneuver his tongue. He pressed it to the underside of Hitori’s dick, right where it was most sensitive, then swirled it around the tip. Hitori moaned throatily and Shuu knew he was onto something.

So now that he had gotten into a groove, there was still something else he had to focus on. He looked over at where Kazuaki was standing. He was jerking off as he watched. Shuu couldn’t just let him be left out, so he made a ‘come here’ gesture with his fingers. Kazuaki mouthed, ‘Are you sure?’ so Shuu nodded around the dick in his mouth and gestured with his whole hand in emphasis.

Kazuaki blushed wildly as he came over to stand next to Hitori, on Shuu’s left. “You don’t have to,” Kazuaki muttered. “But if you’re sure…”

“I am,” Shuu said after popping off Hitori’s dick. Well, sure enough, anyway. He took a moment to look back and forth between the stiff cocks jutting into his vision and pondered how he ended up in such a scenario. It was not a position he had ever imagined himself in, but now that he was there, he didn’t feel like complaining too much.

Kazuaki was thicker than Hitori, so Shuu had to relax the hinge of his jaw to let his mouth fall further open. It was a bit more uncomfortable than sucking Hitori’s cock, but still, nothing Shuu wasn’t willing to endure.

He went for the technique he had just learned, and was pleased when Kazuaki groaned in a similar way to what Hitori had. “Th-that’s really nice…”

Speaking of Hitori, Shuu couldn’t let him be neglected now. Keeping one hand on each dick, Shuu jacked them both off together. Luckily that was something he had done a few times when they’d fooled around before.

Now it just had the added element of him sucking one of them off, switching back and forth, trying not to switch too quickly but not letting someone go too long without it. He was distinctly aware that Hitori was in the worse position, stuck with Shuu’s injured arm that couldn’t quite get the rhythm, so he figured it was fair to make up for it by giving him a little bit more mouth action.

Shuu let himself fall into the rhythm of going through the cycle, just focusing on varying the speed of his ministrations and not letting himself get too into his own head about it. Despite the fact that he had already cum and wasn’t being directly pleasured, hearing his boyfriends’ pleased moans and knowing he was satisfying them was its own ecstasy. All Shuu ever wanted was to serve a purpose, and this was a small but meaningful way to fulfill that.

At one point Shuu began to feel Hitori’s cockhead twitching in his mouth, and knew he was close to cumming. This suspicion was confirmed when Hitori said it himself, his hand in Shuu’s hair turning into a fist, his brow furrowed, as he grunted, “I’m close, I’m gonna cum- Ah, fuck-”

Shuu figured that since Hitori swallowed when giving him a blowjob, he should at least try. He didn’t know how that was going to go, but it was the effort that counted. He took his hand off Kazuaki’s dick and put it on Hitori’s hip so he could focus on the task at hand. Kazuaki would just have to be patient.

Hitori came with a deep, drawn out groan that was music to Shuu’s ears. What was less pleasant was when he actually shot his load in Shuu’s mouth, and Shuu instantly understood why the only thing he had heard about this act was that it was difficult to do. It was less like trying to swallow liquid and more like trying to swallow glue - sticky, gooey, and not tasting very good.

He leaned back from Hitori’s dick, vaguely aware of how his face was scrunched up. He choked the substance down with a few rough swallows, then took a deep breath. That probably wasn’t very sexy, but he was new at this, so he forgave himself. How did Hitori make it seem so easy?

“That’s so hot,” Hitori moaned, looking down at him lustfully. Shuu thought he was being rather generous but appreciated the sentiment all the same.

Alright, so that just left Kazuaki that still had to cum. Shuu turned to face him and found the blond jacking off with the fierce urgency of someone close to cumming. Shuu cleared his throat to try to make it feel a little less gooey, and breathed slowly through his nose to summon the strength to go through this again.

Kazuaki saved him, however, when he said between bit-back moans, “L-Let me get it on your face?”

That sounded much easier, and also pretty erotic. “Okay.” Shuu leaned closer and tilted his head back slightly so his face was in a convenient position. “Don’t get it in my hair though,” he said as he ran a hand through it to be sure it was out of his face. Sticky cum in his hair did not sound fun, and he literally just washed it.

Kazuaki nodded, breathing harshly as he neared his peak. “Close your eyes - _gh_ \- so it doesn’t-”

Shuu took that advice, deciding that cum in his eyes sounded very unpleasant indeed. It was somewhat unsettling to not know when it would be coming, but that only heightened the adrenaline. He was hyper-aware of the sound of Kazuaki pumping his slick cock and muttering, “Ahh, you’re so pretty, Iwamine, you’re so so pretty-”

Shuu flinched and gasped when he felt some land across his nose. More quickly fell upon his lips, then his left eyelid. He waited a moment more to see if more was coming, then blinked his right eye open to see Kazuaki’s last weak drops spill to the floor.

Having thick, heavy jizz on his face was a little uncomfortable, but Shuu basked in the feeling as a sign of a job well done. He stuck his tongue out to get the spunk on his lips. Still didn’t taste much better. But he looked up and saw that Kazuaki seemed enraptured by the sight, wide-eyed and whispering, “So pretty, ahh, I can’t believe how pretty you are…” It was all so completely genuine that Shuu couldn’t find it in himself to doubt him.

After some time was spent appreciating Shuu’s jizzed-on face, Hitori came over with a washcloth and wiped him clean. Shuu muttered a tired, “Thank you,” relieved to feel clean again.

Shuu got up on shaky legs, and Kazuaki almost immediately pulled him into a hug. “That was so sexy and fun! I love you!” Shuu was surprised by this development, but not unpleasantly so, and tenderly wrapped his arms around Kazuaki. Hitori quickly joined in. It was nice to be appreciated.

When they were done with that, they all rinsed off again, none of them feeling very clean anymore after that whole thing. Hitori removed the bath cover, revealing the warm, enticing water waiting for them. The three of them piled in, and although it was a little cramped, that only meant they had more of an excuse to be close to each other. Kazuaki in the middle, with Shuu strategically sure to have him on his left side.

After all of his hard work, Shuu considered this the perfect reward. At that sleepover at his house, Shuu had longed for the feeling of his skin against theirs, and now he could relax and enjoy that hard-earned feeling. The warm water relaxed him until he was ready to fall asleep, and in fact, he was pretty sure he did doze off a few minutes. He could spend forever in that tub, and they all certainly took their time enjoying it.

They couldn’t stay forever though, and eventually dragged themselves out. It was hard, but Shuu knew there was a soft bed waiting for him, so that made it easier.

They all dried off, and Shuu bent at the waist to flip his hair over and make it easier to blow dry. When he was done, he turned and caught Hitori and Kazuaki both trying to look like they hadn’t been staring. He blushed hard, then rolled his eyes and muttered, “Horndogs.” They laughed, and Shuu barely hid the chuckle under his breath.

Yeah, maybe he could actually get used to this.

Hitori ended up in the middle this time, and Shuu was pleased to enjoy his body, too. The soft skin against his and the comforting warmth of another living body lulled Shuu into an easy sleep. This was exactly what he had been wishing for, and it was well-earned.

It wasn’t as if he suddenly loved his body, but knowing that he apparently had much less to be afraid of than he thought gave him a peace of mind he hadn’t known… possibly in his entire life. Maybe Hitori had been right, and he was a lot luckier than he thought. This wasn’t where he expected his life to go, and in times of self-doubt he wondered if it was the right path. But times like these, he knew why it was the one he chose and couldn’t imagine any other scenario. No matter what the future held, he was going to enjoy every last minute of this.

**Author's Note:**

> once again thank you so much for reading!! kudos and comments are very appreciated!  
> like i said this is my longest fic on here to date, and by a noticeable margin.. i worked really really hard on it!! if you like what i write, you should go to fluffyficsupport.carrd.co, okay? i cant talk abt it too much here but if youre a fan of my writing then i encourage you to take a look ^_^ (itll make sense when youre there i promise lol)


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